Hello, and welcome to my home. 

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No I'm not mad, I prefer the term eccentric.

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No I have never made any so called 'doomsday devices' I don't know who keeps mentioning those.  

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No I cannot sell you ray-guns unless you have the correct permits.

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My name you say. Well most people call me Lord Pentecost but my full name Lord James Pentecost, Eleventh Earl of Ringwood.

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A made up title you say, How dare you! I'll have you know I donated a large sum of money to the Cthulhu Party to get this title. 

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Why don't you have cup of tea and come down to the laboratory, it's always nice to have victims.... I mean visitors.

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Igor, put the kettle on.